Heigl adoption

“We have talked about having biological children as well, but we decided to adopt first.” – Katherine Heigl

Although I am not the biggest fan of this actress ever since she seemingly became too diva-licious for Grey’s Anatomy 

 (you will learn I am a sucker for celebrity gossip), I am so intrigued by this interview she recently did for Parent & Child magazine. In the short summary listed through the link above, she describes how adoption had always been part of her life plan even while she was a little girl. - I never in my life thought I would be able to relate to this actress (except perhaps for her love of Josh Kelly) but I am definitely relating to that dream she had as a child.

 Adoption has always been a part of what I desired for my future family and I am so thankful that I married a man who is not only adopted himself but also desires to adopt first.

P.S. One of the only perks of Katherine leaving Grey's. Movies like this::: 

Definitely a fave. --   Knocked Up

A review of 2011

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? Traveled to Guatemala, went to a LSU game as a LSU grad student (Geaux Tigers & I don’t want to talk about the game, ugh), went to the Bahamas for our 1 year anniversary, ate cake that was frozen for a year (seriously delish), lived with a boy for a year, and other firsts with my man!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? My only new year’s resolutions for last year was to write in my journal more. I have one entry from last year. Fail. Well, I always journal when I am on a missions trip so I did write more in Guatemala but definitely not when I was home. Hence one of the many reasons why I started this blog – to try to get myself to document my thoughts more often.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My good friend and sorority sister Chelsea did & then a few other friends. So happy for them as they begin such an incredible adventure!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no. I get nervous just thinking about the trials and losses and that may occur in the year to come.

5. What countries did you visit? Guatemala & The Bahamas. Such beautiful experiences.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? I would like to have a more scheduled, organized life at home. Dinners planned and cooked before it is too late and laundry clean and put away in a respectable amount of time. This is definitely one of our struggles! J

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 10-23-11 – Our first anniversary of our wedding. Also July 3^rd, 2011 – a day that I came to some significant realizations about life, bad habits, and friendships. That realization has given me a lot of peace.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Speaking at my first national conference! I was the lead speaker for a 60 minute workshop about partnering with libraries and more than 50 people attended. I received great reviews and it was definitely one of the times in my short professional-life that I have felt completely successful. I will be speaking at that same conference towards the end of March of this year.. in San Diego, CA! Hooray!

9. What was your biggest failure? Yikes, too many to name I am sure. There have been many moments where I have failed myself by allowing to be bullied and pushed around without speaking up and stopping it from continuing. It is something I need to work on more.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope! Thank you Lord.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I bought myself a Michele watch after I presented at the National Conference but I immediately regretted it. I got it for more than half off so I convinced myself that it was a great deal and I deserved it. However, whenever I look at it, I just see cash that I could use to go on another missions trip. So it was the best and worst thing I bought because it has reminded me where my heart lies and it is not in material things. I am considering selling it….we shall see.

12. Where did most of your money go? To grown up stuff…car payment, mortgage payment, utilities, etc. Boring but thankful that I am able to pay for those grown up things!

13. What did you get really excited about? Missions, missions, missions, oh and our decision about international adoption!!!

14. What song will always remind you of 2011? Unfortunately – Party Rock Anthem & then my fave pump me up song – My God’s Not Dead by Newsboys

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Sadder when it comes to my job. Definitely. But when it comes to personal life….a lot happier as I have found peace with a lot of things and am falling in love with B more and more daily.
– thinner or fatter? A bit chubbier. Ugh – working to change that but also working to build self esteem along the way. – constant struggle –
– richer or poorer? Mo money, mo problems. Blessed to have the financial income God has provided!

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? More road trips in the beginning of the year! We did 3 road trips in 3 months at the end of the year and the memories on the road with my hubby, talking about life and our future are unforgettable!

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Staying in on the weekends, planning on cleaning the house & being lazy instead.

18. How did you spend Christmas? Traveling down to Miami to spend time with my family

19. What was your favorite TV program? Amazing Race – obsessed and I want to do it so badly!

20. What were your favorite books of the year? Books for grad school I suppose. I did not read very much at all.. shame shame!

21. What was your favorite music from this year? Adele & Florence & the Machine. Obsessed.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?  The Help. Speaks so much to everything I am processing these days

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I turned 26 this year and definitely had a very low key, relaxed birthday. Walked around Jazz Fest downtown & had people over to bbq afterwards. This year, FL Keys Please!!

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have developed a closer relationship with my heavenly father. I have not spent as much time with Him as I desire to.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Hmmmm pretty much – lets go to the outlets and see how much of a deal I can get on jcrew/banana/izod clothes. I rocked that. pretty much robbed those stores with the deals I was able to get.

26. What kept you sane? I find comfort in knowing that this earth is our temporary home and that there will be a day with no more fears, pain, tears. Also, my husband a few very dear friends helped me survive this year. Oh & I can’t fail to mention our first precious first doggie daughter – Jovie. I squeeze her when I want to cry!

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. Friendships come and go & that is okay. This doesn’t mean there are hard feelings there or that something is wrong with either of you. It just means that a new time has begun and you must take time to cherish those friends that cherish you in return.

so powerful.

If you are interested in international adoption - take 15 minutes to read this post. So powerful.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/10/do-orphans-need-saving.html

Red & Yellow, Black & White – They are precious in His sight

The struggle of racism is one that has been on my mind A LOT lately.

 I am confident that in the future we will have children who will look very different than us and I think because of that realization; I am starting to become much more aware of the thoughts and actions that take place around me.

Racism is a constant battle that minorities face and one that EVERYONE must be prepared to encounter and react to in a positive way. As a born & bred Miami – Hispanic – girl, I have always been somewhat immune to seeing racism in action. I lived in a cultural melting pot and my closest group of girl friends in high school is the most diverse circle I have ever known. I have been SO blessed by these experiences.

However, now that I live in North Florida, racism has become a bit more apparent to me. How should this be handled? Do I keep my mouth shut and know that everyone has their own opinion and it is not my job to persuade them otherwise? Do I open my mouth & let the words that I have not completely thought through come streaming out and possibly burn bridges with acquaintances/friends?

I am still struggling with understanding what my reaction should be but all I know is that racism hurts my heart. Adoption has filled my thoughts and I can’t help but picture the hurtful, ignorant statements that are spewed about African Americans, Asians, and Hispanics, to not be about “them”, but instead – about our future child(ren). That image of our future child being treated as though they are not as important as another person is devastating. However, this is reality and one that I know our future child/children will face time and time again. Our future biological children (if this is God’s plan) will be faced with racist comments for having brothers and sisters who do not look at them and then our adopted children will be consistently judged and stared at because they look so different from their parents.

Am I really prepared for this? Are Brent & I ready to come face to face with such hurtful comments that will threaten to tear apart this family that we love and would give our lives for?

The answer is surprising.

No.

We aren’t ready.

Yet.

I truly believe that God has planted this seed of adoption plans in our hearts at this early stage to give us the time to build us into the future parents that will be able to face such challenges with love, patience, & kindness. I know we are not yet ready to begin the process but I am so thankful for the year(s) we have ahead of us to prepare our hearts and home to have this journey and hopefully impact lives beyond what we can see.

Encourage one another!

This picture is one of the most gorgeous photos I have ever seen. I found it on pinterest (link above) and could not stop staring at the colors, the fabric, the sweet baby & the hard working mother. Photos like this tell a story and it is one that I have found myself continually thinking and praying about over and over again. **Africa is on my heart!** (details to come)

As more people are starting to find out about our thoughts & dreams for international adoption, I become more nervous about the greater chance of the destructive and hurtful comments that might arise from those who will not agree with this route we are planning on taking. I shouldn't expect everyone to understand why we are doing this or think that it is the best idea for their family. But what I am coming to realize is that there is no way that Brent & I will be able to get through the adoption process and the difficulties of parenting without a strong support system. 

God has showed me so much over the past week of 2012. I feel so confident in our decision and am incredibly thankful for His perfect timing. There is so much work that I need to do with myself, with Brent, to prepare ourselves to bring a child into our home. We have to continue to build a strong foundation within our marriage and an incredibly strong support system around us so that when the time comes that we are questioned or attacked for the choices we have made, we will be able to hold hands and answer questions in a loving, kind way and be "slow to anger".

He listens.

Not even 2 nights ago I expressed a desire to my husband that I would be able to find blogs where young couples are choosing to adopt before attempting to have children naturally. As details of this future adoption are beginning to take up more and more of my thoughts, I was starting to already feel isolated in the VERY early stages of this process. We haven’t told too many friends or family members about this decision and I know what we are doing is not the road most taken by young newlyweds. I felt overwhelmed with the process and wanted to be able to read about another couple that has embarked on a similar journey.

Well, He listens. The very next day I stumbled upon a blog where a young couple felt called to adopt first and that blog led me to several others. I have already spent hours reading their stories and why they felt led to adopt before having children naturally.

Isn’t it incredible that God hears every thought, frustration, complaint, & praise that we have in our hearts? I didn’t even speak my request to Him but it was answered and I feel more comforted than ever.

I know this journey is going to be SO difficult and there will be many more moments where I feel isolated and as though we are making a decision that is “odd”, “different”, “weird”, “CRAZY”. But I am so thankful to know that my God hears our ever desire and that there is a community out there who has also chosen to take this “CRAZY” alternate route.

AGM

Blogs referenced to above:

http://expectingablessing.blogspot.com/
http://theannessafamily.blogspot.com/
http://thewaymanfamilynest.blogspot.com/
http://afaithfulnesstold.blogspot.com/

a post that brought me to tears...at my desk

I am currently taking a breather from some tasks at work and ran across the following blog post::

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/06/what-i-wanted-to-say.html

Part of the adoption research that I want to do over the next year includes gathering a group of blogs to read routinely to better understand the struggles and journey that families endure during this process. I came across this blog and a particular posting that identified several facts that she wished she had discussed when she was interviewed on The View. I read a few bulleted points and began to cry my eyes out. Yup, God is speaking to me again and very clearly telling me that this is His plan for us! Here are a few of the points that moved me so deeply::

• I wanted to talk about how deep my love is for my adopted children.  I wanted to share the way I love them every bit as much as the daughters I have birthed.
• I wanted to talk about how, when we called our Christian agency about a healthy African American boy from LA county who was in need of a home, we were told that they had no prospective adoptive parents willing to accept a placement of a black child.  NOT ONE.
• I wanted to talk about the persistent question I hear asking why people adopt internationally instead of taking care of "our own kids" in the US.  I wanted to talk about how every child, in every nation, is deserving of a family, not just American children.  I wanted to say how petty I find this question.
• I wanted to talk about the 18-year-olds I regularly see on adoption photolistings.  Kids like Percell who, despite being old enough to live independently, place themselves on national photolistings because they desperately want to be adopted.  Because, in Percell's words, he "wants to become a member of a permanent family".  I wanted to talk about what life must be like for Percell, and other kids like him, who age out of the fostercare system despite a deep desire to have a family even as they enter adulthood.
• I wanted to talk about what responsibility we have to caring for our world's orphaned and abandoned children, and the small part adoption can play in that effort.  I wanted to talk about how much we should all be bothered by the numbers of children in our world who are missing out on basic human needs.  Security.  Love.  Affection.
• I wanted to say that we should all be doing something.  Not everyone should be adopting.  But we should be doing something.  And we should all be a little sick about it.

Amazing.