Confusion

I have a confession…over the past several weeks I have gone back and forth between understanding if international adoption is really the route Brent & I should take. Through the power of Pinterest, I have witnessed a few arguments take place following some pictures that I have pinned that support international adoption. These arguments are between passionate people on both sides of the issue of Americans adopting children from other “3^rd world” or “developing countries” (Haiti, Guatemala, Africa, etc).

I *thought* I had always understood the debate surrounding this issue. I have already been questioned for why Brent & I would “choose to adopt from another country when there are needy children in the U.S.” and I had assumed that all people who are against international adoption just wanted those couples to adopt orphans from the U.S.  instead of another country. I thought that these people were coming from the same mindset of those that have criticized Brent and I for doing community service overseas rather than in America (of course those people forget I committed 10 months to AmeriCorps NCCC).

But the debate extends far past that. There is an entire argument revolving around taking orphans out of their native country and “forcing” them to live in America thus “losing their culture and identity”. This is a view that I had never considered and one that I actually find valid points in. I have read different people’s opinion stating that the amount of money that an American spends on the international adoption process could help save an entire African village and therefore potentially save hundreds if not thousands of lives in the future rather than a single child’s life. This is a strong, very valid point as well and one that completely flipped all of my ideas and strong feelings of our future plan out the window…for a little while.

But God has a way of reminding me of His plan for Brent & I. I know He plans for us to adopt first and I am still not completely certain if it will be domestic or international. But I know that those who are called to adopt in any country are doing so with the hopes and dreams of providing that child a brighter future and safe upbringing.

Brent & I have been saving up for the past several months for a trip to Africa this summer. We currently don’t have a date of departure or a country in mind, but we are saving. I have a strong feeling that this trip will not only change our lives but dramatically impact our vision for our future family. I pray that God directs us to exactly the people and places that we need to go to so that our vision can become clearer and so that we might have a better understanding of our next step.

Right now I am just continually grateful that I have been given this time to research the incredible amount of articles, blogs, opinions, books, and other sources of information that are available concerning adoption. The world of adoption is so huge and incredibly overwhelming and this time that I have to read, process, pray and reflect on this decision is so important to me.

Links to great resources:

How to answer the question, “Why adopt internationally when there are children here who need homes?”

http://www.pregnancy-and-adoption.org/international-adoption/2010/09/21/the-answer-to-the-question-why-adopt-internationally-when-there-are-children-here-who-need-homes/

A VERY interesting debate surrounding the issue with many points of view:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090224032718AA98V1u

UNICEF’s view against international adoption

http://ethicsalarms.com/2010/12/08/unicefs-unethical-war-against-international-adoption/

So blessed to be stressed

This morning as I was getting ready for work and conducting my normal stalking observation of the latest news on FB, I misread a status that ended up completely inspiring me! How did this happen? Well my klutziness exceeds far past just the physical acts of tripping, spilling, getting my hair caught in sweaters (all the time), etc. There are many times where that endearing ;-) klutz side will affect how I interpret misinterpret things people tell me/read a message all together which may be entertaining for an observer but super embarrassing for myself.

Lucky for me (not so much for you), this story is not an embarrassing one but I am positive there will be many of those to come.

So this status I misread ended up being the very well known quote:

However when I read it my brain somehow interpreted it as “So blessed to be stressed”.

I was in awe of my friend’s perspective as I had never EVER thought to view stress in life as a blessing. But as I continued on my way to work, I started reflecting on the things that have stressed me out this week:

• The seemingly never-ending pile of cleaning that always has to be done. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming up endless amounts of dog hair from this creature: 

 It never ends!

• Homework for grad school that is already sucking the life out of me
• My full time job, my part time tutoring job. Why can’t I just go home after work and sit on the couch and watch trash tv… All. Night. Long.?
• Traffic. Traffic. Traffic.

Yes, this past week was probably a 3/4 on the stress scale of 1 – 10. Not such a bad week but there were definitely moments of unhappiness and anxiety as little “problems” threatened to ruin my day. But then I think….How blessed I am to be stressed.

• That never ending pile of cleaning that has to be done exists because we live in a gorgeous home that we never thought we would ever be able to purchase 2 years ago. Those dishes represent the groceries we are able to afford and the food that is keeping us alive. That husky fur that has become a part of our coffee, bedding, home decor? -- well that pup has her own miracle story and she brings us smiles daily!
• The homework for grad school that is keeping up until 1 am every night is something I should always be thankful for. I never believed I would be able to attend grad school, much less be 2 semesters away from graduation with a 4.0 GPA.  So thankful.
• My full time job is a job. Period. So many would do anything to be in my position but yet I view it as a burden. So blessed to be able to be stressed about a job at all.
• Oh and the trash tv part? Thank you God for creating humans that can develop such horrible television so that I can indulge for 2 hours a week in the latest crazies on the Bachelor.

• And traffic. Ugh now that can be a real stressor. But so blessed to be stressed in my dream car, with air conditioning and music that calms my soul causes me to dance like a maniac.

I pray that I can remember to keep this perspective during the days/experiences that are extremely stressful and difficult to see the silver lining. Every stress or obstacle in our life comes from a gift and I want to remember to always be thankful for those blessings.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

coastal porch swing

Overtime I hope to share some DIY projects that my husband & I have tackled & are planning to take on around our house because setting up our first place together has become something I have completely enjoyed (and am rather obsessed with). We live in a historic neighborhood that has so much southern charm and a real community to go along with it. We know all of our neighbors and are so thankful to have great relationships with them. If God keeps us in Jacksonville for years into the future, Springfield is the only neighborhood to find us in!

One of the unique characteristics about our historic neighborhood are the front porches. Nearly every house has one and it definitely brings people together! I am completely in love with our front porch and am hopeful that we will always live in a home that has one. Here are some of my favorite *dream* porches::

 


We were given great advice when we first got married and moved into our home that we should make sure to have "porch time" before the end of every day. They told us that they do this every day, no matter the busyness or outdoor temperature. They make time to stop what they are doing and catch up with each other on their front porch or just sit outside without saying a word.
We loved this idea but honestly haven't been able to keep up with it very much at all. We purchased 2 rocking chairs when we first moved in but those have definitely been used by myself and my girlfriends more than me and Brent.

Opps :(

Thankfully I received one of the most thoughtful presents this Christmas from my sweet husband! A new porch swing! He had listened to the many times I had mentioned a desire for a front porch swing and printed out 3 different options that he thought I would like. I ended up choosing a white 5 ft swing from hayneedle.com that is currently on sale!

http://www.hayneedleoutlet.com/outdoor-living-outlet/porch-swings-&-gliders/crossbackwhiteporchswing.cfm

It arrived last week and my husband was working late in the evening on Sunday to hang it up for me because of course I had an extra special request for this swing...I wanted it hung with rope please and thank you!

Pinterest got me again and I knew that rope would give the coastal look I was going for instead of chain. Ekk - He wasn't such a fan of that request as it would definitely make it harder to hang evenly. But after seeing inspirational pics like this:::

 
 

I knew there was no turning back from the rope obsession! Rope also saved us $12 dollars in the end as purchasing the chain with the swing would have been an extra $50.

We measured the length of the porch floor to ceiling and doubled it to equal the length of rope we needed for one side of the swing. It ended up being 22 ft of rope for each side of the swing & $28 total for the 44 ft of rope.

We used this tutorial to help us out along the way:: http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/how-to/intro/0,,20501527,00.html

and now have this jewel hanging on our front porch :) :)

I love thinking of all the memories & conversations that will take place in this new spot and I am definitely more encouraged to stop the afternoon "to-do list" and have "porch time" with my better half.

Where is your favorite spot to disconnect from the world's distractions and connect with your friends/spouse?

Celebrity Marriage...Is that an oxymoron?

Over the past 10-15 years, there have been a few famous couples that I have viewed as the ones who would be married forever. I remember thinking at a young age that if this particular couple were to ever break up, that {in a dramatic voice} I would never believe in true love ever again!!! ::Yes these thoughts may have occured during my teenage years::

Brad Pitt & Jennifer Anniston

Welp, we all know how that ended. Not so great.

I had also viewed this couple as being the epitome of true love and an “everlasting marriage”.

Ryan Phillippe & Reese Witherspoon

Yeah, not so much for those two either.

And  then there is this couple.

Seal & Heidi Klum

A couple that took the time to renew their vows every year in an effort to show their continuous commitment to their marriage. This past weekend they announced that they were going their separate ways as well.

My question is this. How does one stay focused on creating an everlasting marriage when there seems to be no positive examples left in this world to show us how to do it? I am pretty sure I would have a hard time counting on one hand the examples of a happy marriage that I see in my own life. Let me think… Yup, I think there are less than 5 couples that I can think of that are in their older years and are still more in love than ever (one of them being my grandparents).

These thoughts and real life examples can be discouraging and depressing…if we allow them to be. But I choose to believe that my marriage will be different. I choose to believe that I have married the one that God hand selected for me and that everything I have witnessed about “marriage” will help us build something that is the opposite from the world’s view. I believe that Brent & I will be holding hands on a front porch when we are old and gray and we will still manage to have love in our hearts for each other at the end of a very difficult day/week/month/year.

However I know that this will not occur without pushing through the moments that seem unbearable. There will be events that take place that seem impossible to navigate through but I must remember that my husband and I are a team and that we can get through these obstacles together. We must also surround ourselves with the type of people that will be there to support us when we fail each other and make mistakes. Most importantly, we must always have our relationship with our Heavenly Father be our primary focus. Without Him, I have no doubt that we will not survive the challenging years ahead.

It’s going to be hard but there isn’t anyone in the world I would want to experience the ups and downs of life with than the man that God has chosen for me.

What are some of the things you do to continue to grow your marriage and stay connected?

AGM

P.S. I love pinterest for the amazing ideas that can be found on there. I have created a board with ideas for dating/marriage including pins for cheap date nights and other activities to do to reconnect with your partner/show them love!   

http://pinterest.com/angiegrace/te-amo-mi-esposo/

P.S.S.  One of my Hollywood “example couples” remains intact:  

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw  

Love them.

Goals for 2012

I am not a huge fan of the world “resolutions”. To me that word is a synonym for “to eventually quit”. I don’t know if I have ever reflected on a year where I accomplished my resolutions of “losing 30 pounds”, “journaling daily”, “to stop procrastinating”, or “wake up when my first alarm goes off rather than snooze for 30 minutes”. Yeah, that last one will never be accomplished.

I am however a huge fan of “goals”. I love setting goals that are realistic and can be accomplished over a few days, weeks, or months but not the entire YEAR. 12 months of one goal is crazy talk.

So in an effort to record my goals for the year and hopefully check off a good amount of them towards the end of December 2012, I want to list them here. I feel pretty confident that I can accomplish these and be able to look back on 2012 with thankfulness and gratitude for what I accomplished instead of discouragement.

-       Acquire my Masters of Science Degree in Human Services Administration with a 4.0 GPA … deep breaths….I can do it. I can do it!

-       Find a home church.

-       Get involved with a small group for married couples & one for women

-       Angie & Brent free of credit card debt (or extremely close)

-       Run a half marathon (gulp)

-       Build a veggie garden in our backyard

-       Volunteer with future home church’s youth group or children’s ministry/nursery

-       Go to Africa &/or Haiti on missions!

-       Give Brent a GREAT 29^th birthday (since I did not do such a great job this year)

-       Complete all 3 bedrooms in home & staircase. Complete = all items organized, boxes finally unpacked, rooms painted and furniture in place.

-       Land a new job (however if God keeps me in my current position, I will be patient and confident that I have been kept there for a specific purpose and reason)

-       Feel knowledgeable about international adoption & perhaps have a country in mind (!!!!!!!!)

Here we go 2012!

Heigl adoption

“We have talked about having biological children as well, but we decided to adopt first.” – Katherine Heigl

Although I am not the biggest fan of this actress ever since she seemingly became too diva-licious for Grey’s Anatomy 

 (you will learn I am a sucker for celebrity gossip), I am so intrigued by this interview she recently did for Parent & Child magazine. In the short summary listed through the link above, she describes how adoption had always been part of her life plan even while she was a little girl. - I never in my life thought I would be able to relate to this actress (except perhaps for her love of Josh Kelly) but I am definitely relating to that dream she had as a child.

 Adoption has always been a part of what I desired for my future family and I am so thankful that I married a man who is not only adopted himself but also desires to adopt first.

P.S. One of the only perks of Katherine leaving Grey's. Movies like this::: 

Definitely a fave. --   Knocked Up

A review of 2011

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? Traveled to Guatemala, went to a LSU game as a LSU grad student (Geaux Tigers & I don’t want to talk about the game, ugh), went to the Bahamas for our 1 year anniversary, ate cake that was frozen for a year (seriously delish), lived with a boy for a year, and other firsts with my man!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? My only new year’s resolutions for last year was to write in my journal more. I have one entry from last year. Fail. Well, I always journal when I am on a missions trip so I did write more in Guatemala but definitely not when I was home. Hence one of the many reasons why I started this blog – to try to get myself to document my thoughts more often.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My good friend and sorority sister Chelsea did & then a few other friends. So happy for them as they begin such an incredible adventure!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no. I get nervous just thinking about the trials and losses and that may occur in the year to come.

5. What countries did you visit? Guatemala & The Bahamas. Such beautiful experiences.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? I would like to have a more scheduled, organized life at home. Dinners planned and cooked before it is too late and laundry clean and put away in a respectable amount of time. This is definitely one of our struggles! J

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 10-23-11 – Our first anniversary of our wedding. Also July 3^rd, 2011 – a day that I came to some significant realizations about life, bad habits, and friendships. That realization has given me a lot of peace.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Speaking at my first national conference! I was the lead speaker for a 60 minute workshop about partnering with libraries and more than 50 people attended. I received great reviews and it was definitely one of the times in my short professional-life that I have felt completely successful. I will be speaking at that same conference towards the end of March of this year.. in San Diego, CA! Hooray!

9. What was your biggest failure? Yikes, too many to name I am sure. There have been many moments where I have failed myself by allowing to be bullied and pushed around without speaking up and stopping it from continuing. It is something I need to work on more.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope! Thank you Lord.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I bought myself a Michele watch after I presented at the National Conference but I immediately regretted it. I got it for more than half off so I convinced myself that it was a great deal and I deserved it. However, whenever I look at it, I just see cash that I could use to go on another missions trip. So it was the best and worst thing I bought because it has reminded me where my heart lies and it is not in material things. I am considering selling it….we shall see.

12. Where did most of your money go? To grown up stuff…car payment, mortgage payment, utilities, etc. Boring but thankful that I am able to pay for those grown up things!

13. What did you get really excited about? Missions, missions, missions, oh and our decision about international adoption!!!

14. What song will always remind you of 2011? Unfortunately – Party Rock Anthem & then my fave pump me up song – My God’s Not Dead by Newsboys

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Sadder when it comes to my job. Definitely. But when it comes to personal life….a lot happier as I have found peace with a lot of things and am falling in love with B more and more daily.
– thinner or fatter? A bit chubbier. Ugh – working to change that but also working to build self esteem along the way. – constant struggle –
– richer or poorer? Mo money, mo problems. Blessed to have the financial income God has provided!

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? More road trips in the beginning of the year! We did 3 road trips in 3 months at the end of the year and the memories on the road with my hubby, talking about life and our future are unforgettable!

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Staying in on the weekends, planning on cleaning the house & being lazy instead.

18. How did you spend Christmas? Traveling down to Miami to spend time with my family

19. What was your favorite TV program? Amazing Race – obsessed and I want to do it so badly!

20. What were your favorite books of the year? Books for grad school I suppose. I did not read very much at all.. shame shame!

21. What was your favorite music from this year? Adele & Florence & the Machine. Obsessed.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?  The Help. Speaks so much to everything I am processing these days

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I turned 26 this year and definitely had a very low key, relaxed birthday. Walked around Jazz Fest downtown & had people over to bbq afterwards. This year, FL Keys Please!!

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? To have developed a closer relationship with my heavenly father. I have not spent as much time with Him as I desire to.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Hmmmm pretty much – lets go to the outlets and see how much of a deal I can get on jcrew/banana/izod clothes. I rocked that. pretty much robbed those stores with the deals I was able to get.

26. What kept you sane? I find comfort in knowing that this earth is our temporary home and that there will be a day with no more fears, pain, tears. Also, my husband a few very dear friends helped me survive this year. Oh & I can’t fail to mention our first precious first doggie daughter – Jovie. I squeeze her when I want to cry!

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. Friendships come and go & that is okay. This doesn’t mean there are hard feelings there or that something is wrong with either of you. It just means that a new time has begun and you must take time to cherish those friends that cherish you in return.