If you are interested in international adoption - take 15 minutes to read this post. So powerful.
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/10/do-orphans-need-saving.html
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Red & Yellow, Black & White – They are precious in His sight
The struggle of racism is one that has been on my mind A LOT lately.
I am confident that in the future we will have children who will look very different than us and I think because of that realization; I am starting to become much more aware of the thoughts and actions that take place around me.
Racism is a constant battle that minorities face and one that EVERYONE must be prepared to encounter and react to in a positive way. As a born & bred Miami – Hispanic – girl, I have always been somewhat immune to seeing racism in action. I lived in a cultural melting pot and my closest group of girl friends in high school is the most diverse circle I have ever known. I have been SO blessed by these experiences.
However, now that I live in North Florida, racism has become a bit more apparent to me. How should this be handled? Do I keep my mouth shut and know that everyone has their own opinion and it is not my job to persuade them otherwise? Do I open my mouth & let the words that I have not completely thought through come streaming out and possibly burn bridges with acquaintances/friends?
I am still struggling with understanding what my reaction should be but all I know is that racism hurts my heart. Adoption has filled my thoughts and I can’t help but picture the hurtful, ignorant statements that are spewed about African Americans, Asians, and Hispanics, to not be about “them”, but instead – about our future child(ren). That image of our future child being treated as though they are not as important as another person is devastating. However, this is reality and one that I know our future child/children will face time and time again. Our future biological children (if this is God’s plan) will be faced with racist comments for having brothers and sisters who do not look at them and then our adopted children will be consistently judged and stared at because they look so different from their parents.
Am I really prepared for this? Are Brent & I ready to come face to face with such hurtful comments that will threaten to tear apart this family that we love and would give our lives for?
The answer is surprising.
No.
We aren’t ready.
Yet.
I truly believe that God has planted this seed of adoption plans in our hearts at this early stage to give us the time to build us into the future parents that will be able to face such challenges with love, patience, & kindness. I know we are not yet ready to begin the process but I am so thankful for the year(s) we have ahead of us to prepare our hearts and home to have this journey and hopefully impact lives beyond what we can see.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Encourage one another!
This picture is one of the most gorgeous photos I have ever seen. I found it on pinterest (link above) and could not stop staring at the colors, the fabric, the sweet baby & the hard working mother. Photos like this tell a story and it is one that I have found myself continually thinking and praying about over and over again. **Africa is on my heart!** (details to come)
As more people are starting to find out about our thoughts & dreams for international adoption, I become more nervous about the greater chance of the destructive and hurtful comments that might arise from those who will not agree with this route we are planning on taking. I shouldn't expect everyone to understand why we are doing this or think that it is the best idea for their family. But what I am coming to realize is that there is no way that Brent & I will be able to get through the adoption process and the difficulties of parenting without a strong support system.
God has showed me so much over the past week of 2012. I feel so confident in our decision and am incredibly thankful for His perfect timing. There is so much work that I need to do with myself, with Brent, to prepare ourselves to bring a child into our home. We have to continue to build a strong foundation within our marriage and an incredibly strong support system around us so that when the time comes that we are questioned or attacked for the choices we have made, we will be able to hold hands and answer questions in a loving, kind way and be "slow to anger".
Thursday, January 5, 2012
He listens.
Not even 2 nights ago I expressed a desire to my husband that I would be able to find blogs where young couples are choosing to adopt before attempting to have children naturally. As details of this future adoption are beginning to take up more and more of my thoughts, I was starting to already feel isolated in the VERY early stages of this process. We haven’t told too many friends or family members about this decision and I know what we are doing is not the road most taken by young newlyweds. I felt overwhelmed with the process and wanted to be able to read about another couple that has embarked on a similar journey.
Well, He listens. The very next day I stumbled upon a blog where a young couple felt called to adopt first and that blog led me to several others. I have already spent hours reading their stories and why they felt led to adopt before having children naturally.
Isn’t it incredible that God hears every thought, frustration, complaint, & praise that we have in our hearts? I didn’t even speak my request to Him but it was answered and I feel more comforted than ever.
I know this journey is going to be SO difficult and there will be many more moments where I feel isolated and as though we are making a decision that is “odd”, “different”, “weird”, “CRAZY”. But I am so thankful to know that my God hears our ever desire and that there is a community out there who has also chosen to take this “CRAZY” alternate route.
AGM
Blogs referenced to above:
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
a post that brought me to tears...at my desk
I am currently taking a breather from some tasks at work and ran across the following blog post::
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/06/what-i-wanted-to-say.html
Part of the adoption research that I want to do over the next year includes gathering a group of blogs to read routinely to better understand the struggles and journey that families endure during this process. I came across this blog and a particular posting that identified several facts that she wished she had discussed when she was interviewed on The View. I read a few bulleted points and began to cry my eyes out. Yup, God is speaking to me again and very clearly telling me that this is His plan for us! Here are a few of the points that moved me so deeply::
- I wanted to talk about how deep my love is for my adopted children. I wanted to share the way I love them every bit as much as the daughters I have birthed.
- I wanted to talk about how, when we called our Christian agency about a healthy African American boy from LA county who was in need of a home, we were told that they had no prospective adoptive parents willing to accept a placement of a black child. NOT ONE.
- I wanted to talk about the persistent question I hear asking why people adopt internationally instead of taking care of "our own kids" in the US. I wanted to talk about how every child, in every nation, is deserving of a family, not just American children. I wanted to say how petty I find this question.
- I wanted to talk about the 18-year-olds I regularly see on adoption photolistings. Kids like Percell who, despite being old enough to live independently, place themselves on national photolistings because they desperately want to be adopted. Because, in Percell's words, he "wants to become a member of a permanent family". I wanted to talk about what life must be like for Percell, and other kids like him, who age out of the fostercare system despite a deep desire to have a family even as they enter adulthood.
- I wanted to talk about what responsibility we have to caring for our world's orphaned and abandoned children, and the small part adoption can play in that effort. I wanted to talk about how much we should all be bothered by the numbers of children in our world who are missing out on basic human needs. Security. Love. Affection.
- I wanted to say that we should all be doing something. Not everyone should be adopting. But we should be doing something. And we should all be a little sick about it.
Amazing.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans”
I am pretty confident that there are not many committed readers to this blog that is rarely updated, but in the case that there are - you are about to be let in on a pretty significant secret. This secret is one that I am feeling compelled to begin documenting as I know that there are many other families who are experiencing similar thoughts and may find encouragement from my rambling words. This secret is also one that Brent & I have begun sharing with family members and close friends but it is not quite a common topic of conversation among our group.
This important piece of information that I am wanting to share are the thoughts and feelings we are beginning to have about expanding our family in the future! Now I am sure the words "expanding" and "family" are bringing up instant images of a pregnant Angie in the future, but here is where things are different for our family. -- Brent & I are feeling called to adopting our first child, specifically a son.
Allow me to back up and begin sharing some details that have led us to begin pursuing this path of family planning.
All my life I have wanted a big family. And by big, I mean 6-7 children! I need to look up some of my old diary entries where I shared my desires for many children and the family I hoped to have as I am sure it would be extremely entertaining! When Brent & I started dating 5 & 1/2 years ago and begin talking about a *hypothetical* family in the future, I expressed feelings of frustrations to my closest friends as Brent wanted ONE child and I still dreamed of 6. I told my friends that I was wasting my time on this boy as even a difficult compromise of 3 children would only be half of what I had always wanted.
But thank God for my now husband who is rational and thinks things through that I tend to ignore...you know small, unimportant things like: finances, time, space, etc. He later expressed to me that he would love a big family as well but is not sure we will be able to afford so many children or have the time for them. Very true & valid points.
Fast forward a few years after those conversations and Brent and I were married on October 23rd, 2010. Immediately the questions came from anyone and everyone: "When will you have your first baby?" To this common question, we always gave the same answer that left many with their mouths hanging on the floor:
"5 years"
We agreed on this time frame during our engagement as we both really wanted to be able to get completely settled into our relationship and lives as a married couple. We wanted to travel together and go on long, international missions trips and become more financially stable.
People have had many responses to our "5 year plan". Mostly supportive, encouraging comments but some words of criticism as other couples seem to think there must be something wrong with us for wanting to wait so long to have children. But this is our plan, and about 14 months into it we are still feeling confident that this is where we need to be....except God seems to have adjusted our plans to be more representative of His.
Go figure.
In August of 2011, Brent & I embarked on our 2nd international missions trip together. The previous summer we traveled to Haiti and this year we were able to experience Guatemala. We went with a small team and visited Casa Para Ninos Orphanage. Our project was to love the children living at this orphanage. That was it. No expected heavy labor or intense construction like we experienced together in Haiti. We were told to spend time with the children and show them God's love. This was a mission that was exhilarating for myself, but a tad overwhelming for my sweet husband. Before Guatemala he was definitely the type that would rather work 12 hours of construction in 110 degree temperatures than be told "go spend some time a child". However if he was given that choice now, I am not sure what he would choose.
During our week in Guatemala, I spent a large amount of my time in the "baby dorm" at Casa Para Ninos. This building was filled with infants - 4/5 year olds who were desperate to be held and loved. There were many times I walked into the nursery/toddler room and was immediately surrounded by sweet little ones crying with their arms outstretch saying "Mama, Mama, Mama!" To them, any female that would hold them was their mama. I spent hours holding these babies and praying for their future. Praying that God would protect them and that they would come to understand what love is and never have to seek it from those who wish to do them harm.
There was one specific boy that my heart was immediately attached to. His name is Angel and he is just the cutest little chubster with a mess of curly hair! I held him the most out of all the children and was in love with his sweetness and innocence. I will never forget him because it was while I was holding him that I believe God spoke to me and told me that we should adopt a boy before attempting to have children naturally.
I remember holding Angel and having this thought come to me and wanting to push it away. The large majority of women desire to be pregnant and have "their own" children before even considering adoption (if they ever do). Why would this thought be coming to me at this moment?
That evening, I sat with Brent as we did every night to discuss our day and chat about our high/low moments. I shared with him how I was feeling about adoption and that I was feeling called to adopting our first child. He told me that he was having the same desire.
God is great.
Ever since that trip to Guatemala, adoption has been in the back of our minds but we are still a solid 3-4 years away from the time we had "planned" to have children. However, over the past few weeks I began feeling compelled to start the process of adopting through an initial phase of research & prayer. We definitely think international adoption is in our future for this first child and the world of international adoption is HUGE. I am planning to read up as much as I can in 2012 to get a better idea of the costs and challenges that arise with international adoption and hopefully by the end of 2012 we will have a clear idea of what country we should be beginning the process with.
Who knows where God will direct us over this next year. I know He must laugh at our plans and specifically mine as I am extremely detailed but hopefully we will be able to hear His voice and follow His plan for our lives and our future child and children. * Wow that was strange to write!
I plan to share reviews of books that I have read about adoption on here in hopes to encourage/inspire at least one family who may be on a similar journey. This will also be the first of MANY postings that I plan to share as the LONG process to international adoption begins.
Stay tuned!
This important piece of information that I am wanting to share are the thoughts and feelings we are beginning to have about expanding our family in the future! Now I am sure the words "expanding" and "family" are bringing up instant images of a pregnant Angie in the future, but here is where things are different for our family. -- Brent & I are feeling called to adopting our first child, specifically a son.
Allow me to back up and begin sharing some details that have led us to begin pursuing this path of family planning.
All my life I have wanted a big family. And by big, I mean 6-7 children! I need to look up some of my old diary entries where I shared my desires for many children and the family I hoped to have as I am sure it would be extremely entertaining! When Brent & I started dating 5 & 1/2 years ago and begin talking about a *hypothetical* family in the future, I expressed feelings of frustrations to my closest friends as Brent wanted ONE child and I still dreamed of 6. I told my friends that I was wasting my time on this boy as even a difficult compromise of 3 children would only be half of what I had always wanted.
But thank God for my now husband who is rational and thinks things through that I tend to ignore...you know small, unimportant things like: finances, time, space, etc. He later expressed to me that he would love a big family as well but is not sure we will be able to afford so many children or have the time for them. Very true & valid points.
Fast forward a few years after those conversations and Brent and I were married on October 23rd, 2010. Immediately the questions came from anyone and everyone: "When will you have your first baby?" To this common question, we always gave the same answer that left many with their mouths hanging on the floor:
"5 years"
We agreed on this time frame during our engagement as we both really wanted to be able to get completely settled into our relationship and lives as a married couple. We wanted to travel together and go on long, international missions trips and become more financially stable.
People have had many responses to our "5 year plan". Mostly supportive, encouraging comments but some words of criticism as other couples seem to think there must be something wrong with us for wanting to wait so long to have children. But this is our plan, and about 14 months into it we are still feeling confident that this is where we need to be....except God seems to have adjusted our plans to be more representative of His.
Go figure.
In August of 2011, Brent & I embarked on our 2nd international missions trip together. The previous summer we traveled to Haiti and this year we were able to experience Guatemala. We went with a small team and visited Casa Para Ninos Orphanage. Our project was to love the children living at this orphanage. That was it. No expected heavy labor or intense construction like we experienced together in Haiti. We were told to spend time with the children and show them God's love. This was a mission that was exhilarating for myself, but a tad overwhelming for my sweet husband. Before Guatemala he was definitely the type that would rather work 12 hours of construction in 110 degree temperatures than be told "go spend some time a child". However if he was given that choice now, I am not sure what he would choose.
During our week in Guatemala, I spent a large amount of my time in the "baby dorm" at Casa Para Ninos. This building was filled with infants - 4/5 year olds who were desperate to be held and loved. There were many times I walked into the nursery/toddler room and was immediately surrounded by sweet little ones crying with their arms outstretch saying "Mama, Mama, Mama!" To them, any female that would hold them was their mama. I spent hours holding these babies and praying for their future. Praying that God would protect them and that they would come to understand what love is and never have to seek it from those who wish to do them harm.
There was one specific boy that my heart was immediately attached to. His name is Angel and he is just the cutest little chubster with a mess of curly hair! I held him the most out of all the children and was in love with his sweetness and innocence. I will never forget him because it was while I was holding him that I believe God spoke to me and told me that we should adopt a boy before attempting to have children naturally.
I remember holding Angel and having this thought come to me and wanting to push it away. The large majority of women desire to be pregnant and have "their own" children before even considering adoption (if they ever do). Why would this thought be coming to me at this moment?
That evening, I sat with Brent as we did every night to discuss our day and chat about our high/low moments. I shared with him how I was feeling about adoption and that I was feeling called to adopting our first child. He told me that he was having the same desire.
God is great.
Ever since that trip to Guatemala, adoption has been in the back of our minds but we are still a solid 3-4 years away from the time we had "planned" to have children. However, over the past few weeks I began feeling compelled to start the process of adopting through an initial phase of research & prayer. We definitely think international adoption is in our future for this first child and the world of international adoption is HUGE. I am planning to read up as much as I can in 2012 to get a better idea of the costs and challenges that arise with international adoption and hopefully by the end of 2012 we will have a clear idea of what country we should be beginning the process with.
Who knows where God will direct us over this next year. I know He must laugh at our plans and specifically mine as I am extremely detailed but hopefully we will be able to hear His voice and follow His plan for our lives and our future child and children. * Wow that was strange to write!
I plan to share reviews of books that I have read about adoption on here in hopes to encourage/inspire at least one family who may be on a similar journey. This will also be the first of MANY postings that I plan to share as the LONG process to international adoption begins.
Stay tuned!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Homelessness
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.." - Matthew 25:35
This morning I witnessed something so heartbreaking that I felt compelled to share it in hopes that something good could come from an awful action.
I was parked at a library in Atlantic Beach awaiting their opening at 10 a.m. It was just about time to gather up my belongings and walk inside when I heard a man shouting something over and over. My instant response was that it was a case of road rage and nothing too uncommon. But as the shouting became louder and clearer I began to understand the words he was screaming: "Get a job you worthless human being. Get a job! Get a job" This man was screaming these words at an old man attempting to cross the street that was in tattered clothing and appeared to be homeless. My heart shattered as I wanted to instantly run across the street and wrap my arms around this man and simultaneously punch this ignorant man in the face. I watched this old man continue to make his way across the street and slowly continue walking away.
I will never be able to understand how a human being can treat another person with such judgment and disrespect. No one has any right to assume the circumstances that another person is in and the events that have brought them to that place. This man who appeared to be homeless may not be. He was someone's son and he may be someone's father. The more I picture this man as a father, the more I can't help imagining the pain I would feel if my own father was in this scenario and someone else treated him like those men did.
What is there to do about this issue? Homelessness is something that will never go away unless we choose to love our neighbors and serve one another. Yes there are so many organizations who give away food, a warm place to sleep, and other essential items that people need to get on their lives started again. These organizations are incredible and need our support. However, there is another step that we can take as human beings to show love and compassion to another person who so desperately needs to feel that they are important and matter in this world. This action requires us to step out of our comfort zone and show love through a variety of different ways. Those ways could include a basic acknowledgement/small conversation with a homeless person that could make a significant difference in their day. So many times we will not even look the homeless in the eye as if they are so below us that they don't deserve our time. Show these people RESPECT and recognize their value as an individual. Yes, there are many people in our world who are not taking ownership of their mistakes or taking the steps they need to start a new chapter. But it is not our place to decide this and judge those people for what we think they should be doing. By showing these people love and respect you may be the person who encourages them to turn their life around. You could be that difference.
Different ways to serve the homeless:
My favorite idea: Blessing Bags – A large Ziploc bag filled with items that can be given to the homeless. Items can include: a list of resources available to them, toothbrush, toothpaste, granola bars, soap, etc.
>>> http://pinterest.com/pin/217650594461081097/
Visit Publix & stock up on buy 1 get 1 free items that you can keep in the back of your car and distribute to people who you can tell need it. I keep granola bars in the backseat and share them with people who are begging for money on the corners. They need nourishment, not change.
Visit a thrift store or even your own closet & gather old sweaters and blankets. As winter approaches and cold nights are near, distribute the items to people who are walking around at night with nothing to keep them warm. I strongly believe in praying that God may lead you to someone who needs these items and He will make that person clear to you.
Thanksgiving leftovers. How many of us will have food that will go to waste after Thanksgiving? We have so much more than we need. Share your leftovers with someone who has nowhere to go and no family to be near.
Another Thanksgiving idea is to look for people in your life who might not have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving. This could be a co-worker who you know has relocated & is away from their loved ones or someone you have recently met that you don't know well but you know they are struggling. Invite these people over for Thanksgiving and show love to those who may feel unloved.
 |
| http://pinterest.com/pin/261605479/ |
This morning I witnessed something so heartbreaking that I felt compelled to share it in hopes that something good could come from an awful action.
I was parked at a library in Atlantic Beach awaiting their opening at 10 a.m. It was just about time to gather up my belongings and walk inside when I heard a man shouting something over and over. My instant response was that it was a case of road rage and nothing too uncommon. But as the shouting became louder and clearer I began to understand the words he was screaming: "Get a job you worthless human being. Get a job! Get a job" This man was screaming these words at an old man attempting to cross the street that was in tattered clothing and appeared to be homeless. My heart shattered as I wanted to instantly run across the street and wrap my arms around this man and simultaneously punch this ignorant man in the face. I watched this old man continue to make his way across the street and slowly continue walking away.
I will never be able to understand how a human being can treat another person with such judgment and disrespect. No one has any right to assume the circumstances that another person is in and the events that have brought them to that place. This man who appeared to be homeless may not be. He was someone's son and he may be someone's father. The more I picture this man as a father, the more I can't help imagining the pain I would feel if my own father was in this scenario and someone else treated him like those men did.
What is there to do about this issue? Homelessness is something that will never go away unless we choose to love our neighbors and serve one another. Yes there are so many organizations who give away food, a warm place to sleep, and other essential items that people need to get on their lives started again. These organizations are incredible and need our support. However, there is another step that we can take as human beings to show love and compassion to another person who so desperately needs to feel that they are important and matter in this world. This action requires us to step out of our comfort zone and show love through a variety of different ways. Those ways could include a basic acknowledgement/small conversation with a homeless person that could make a significant difference in their day. So many times we will not even look the homeless in the eye as if they are so below us that they don't deserve our time. Show these people RESPECT and recognize their value as an individual. Yes, there are many people in our world who are not taking ownership of their mistakes or taking the steps they need to start a new chapter. But it is not our place to decide this and judge those people for what we think they should be doing. By showing these people love and respect you may be the person who encourages them to turn their life around. You could be that difference.
Different ways to serve the homeless:
My favorite idea: Blessing Bags – A large Ziploc bag filled with items that can be given to the homeless. Items can include: a list of resources available to them, toothbrush, toothpaste, granola bars, soap, etc.
>>> http://pinterest.com/pin/217650594461081097/
Visit Publix & stock up on buy 1 get 1 free items that you can keep in the back of your car and distribute to people who you can tell need it. I keep granola bars in the backseat and share them with people who are begging for money on the corners. They need nourishment, not change.
Visit a thrift store or even your own closet & gather old sweaters and blankets. As winter approaches and cold nights are near, distribute the items to people who are walking around at night with nothing to keep them warm. I strongly believe in praying that God may lead you to someone who needs these items and He will make that person clear to you.
Thanksgiving leftovers. How many of us will have food that will go to waste after Thanksgiving? We have so much more than we need. Share your leftovers with someone who has nowhere to go and no family to be near.
Another Thanksgiving idea is to look for people in your life who might not have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving. This could be a co-worker who you know has relocated & is away from their loved ones or someone you have recently met that you don't know well but you know they are struggling. Invite these people over for Thanksgiving and show love to those who may feel unloved.
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